That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My vagina is officially offended.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
