i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
