Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
