no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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