I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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