Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
