I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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