You were right. It hurts to walk today.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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