Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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