I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
