yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
