She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
