he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
