I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
