Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Drunk is not a location!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
