i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
