i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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