Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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