Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
from now on my penis is your penis
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Who died my cat blue again?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
