I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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