I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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