Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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