He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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