If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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