My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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