Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
