You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My balls are so social today.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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