I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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