No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
