We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
