I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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