You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
