Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
