How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
