I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
