Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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