His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
