I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
