Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
