This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
