Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my being single is dangerous.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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