At least make sure they are 18
Why
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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