I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
