Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
