The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
