I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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