His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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