im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
