you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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