you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
