hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
