Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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